FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Basket and Box Realty is delighted to announce the opening of its fourth branch, located inside a shoebox formerly belonging to a pair of sensible walking shoes. The branch is the smallest in our portfolio and the first to be staffed by an employee who cannot turn around.
A milestone for the agency
“This is an exciting step,” said Marmalade Quill, who was asked three times to repeat the statement and eventually produced it by yawning. “We believe that the future of real estate lies in intimate, compact spaces where the agent and the client are never more than one whisker apart.”
The shoebox branch will be open from Monday to Sunday, or whenever the sun reaches the hallway. It will offer a full range of services, including valuations, mortgage advice (in biscuits) and consultations on the correct angle for a chin rest.
Features of the new branch
- A reception desk, which is the lid
- A waiting area, which is the lid again
- A private meeting room, which is the shoebox, entered one cat at a time
- A kitchenette, which is a bowl on the floor outside
- Genuine tissue paper, a great comfort to clients awaiting news
Staffing
The branch manager is Sir Cardboard, a veteran box who has agreed to relocate in exchange for a larger plaque. A single junior negotiator, Biscuit Aldous, will visit twice weekly to sit on the application forms.
Community
As part of the opening celebrations, the agency will host a ribbon cutting ceremony, in which a ribbon will be unrolled across the floor and chased until it is no longer a ribbon. All local residents are welcome, subject to the shoebox’s capacity of one.
About Basket and Box Realty
Basket and Box Realty is a fictional agency that helps cats find spaces that fit, preferably snugly. It has operated since the first cardboard box was left open on a kitchen floor, and shows no sign of closing.
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