The challenge
When the seller first came to us, the property was in poor condition. It was a narrow shelf mounted above a radiator, eight centimetres deep at its widest point, and previously occupied by a plant that had been moved to a more suitable position, namely the bin.
The seller, a nervous grey cat named Mr Dumpling, had been trying to sell for six months. He had lowered the price twice and added a cushion. Nothing had worked, because nobody believed that an adult cat could fit.
Our approach
Biscuit Aldous visited the property and lay down on the shelf. She did not fit. She remained there anyway, hanging over both sides like a draped scarf, and described it as “a bold design choice”. We photographed her from a flattering angle and listed the shelf as “compact, warm, and full of potential”.
We also changed the vocabulary. Words like “narrow” and “precarious” were removed. In their place we used “efficient” and “adventurous”.
The viewing
At 2.14 PM a buyer arrived, an elderly black cat called Professor Fluff. She looked at the shelf, looked at the radiator, and looked at us. She then climbed up in one movement, rotated her entire body without any visible effort, and settled into a loaf. The warmth rose around her like a rumour.
- Time to first contact: 14 seconds
- Time to offer: 6 minutes
- Time to sale: 9 minutes
- Time to regret: still pending
The outcome
The seller received the asking price in full, paid as one mackerel treat and a promise of future cuddles. The buyer reported that the shelf was “exactly as described, which is to say too small and perfect”. Mr Dumpling was last seen sitting on the floor looking at the shelf with mixed feelings.
Lessons learned
First, never underestimate the pull of a warm surface. Second, a cat will believe a property is large if it feels large from the inside. Third, the best viewing is the one where the agent keeps quiet, and Marmalade Quill is very good at that.