Our open days are popular and we are grateful to every cat who attends. To keep the events pleasant, Marmalade Quill has prepared a short code of conduct, which she dictated while watching a moth.
Arrival
Please arrive at the front door at the stated time, or approximately an hour later if there is a shaft of light you wish to follow. Wipe your paws on the mat, or at least think about it. Do not enter before the doorbell, because the doorbell is the only sound that the human will respond to.
Within the property
Cats should observe the following:
- Do not stand on the kitchen counter, unless it is the actual item for sale
- Do not push any object off a table during the first fifteen minutes, as this makes the other visitors nervous
- Do inspect the cupboards with a calm and professional expression
- Do not sniff the agent’s hand for longer than ten seconds
- Do ask questions, preferably in the form of a long, low meow
Interacting with the seller
The seller may appear anxious. This is normal. He is a human and has been tidying since breakfast. Do not comment on the cushions he has placed in a row, which he believes to be “inviting”. A gentle nod is enough.
If the seller offers a treat, accept it, but do not eat it in front of other visitors, since this causes competition. Take it to a quiet corner and eat it with an air of unconcern.
Discussing the property
Visitors are welcome to share opinions, but should remember that others are listening. Phrases such as “the carpet is nice and bitable” are acceptable. Phrases such as “I could do better” are not, particularly in front of the seller’s own cat.
Departure
When you wish to leave, move towards the door at a steady pace. If a bird appears outside, you may be delayed by up to two hours. Please inform the agent by staring at her until she understands. She will not understand, but she will feel observed, and this is considered a courtesy.
Thank you for attending. Refreshments, in the form of nothing, will be provided.