At a glance
Guide price: one treat, negotiable. Tenure: freehold until someone recycles it. Location: hallway, north facing, close to the front door and therefore close to all the excitement.
The property
Sir Cardboard himself has asked us to describe this listing with restraint, and we have failed. This is a medium carton of exceptional proportions, roughly forty centimetres on each side, with four original flaps in good working order. The previous occupant, a large and entitled ginger, vacated the premises only after being lifted out by a human, which we are told is the usual way.
The interior is open plan, and by open plan we mean there is nothing in it. A buyer with vision will see a lounge, a bedroom and a small place to be angry in. There is no separate kitchen, but there is also no washing up, which many of our clients consider a feature.
Features
- Original flaps, folded inward for a cosy den effect or outward for a statement doorway
- Residual packing tape, ideal for a first time buyer who enjoys the sound
- Faint aroma of new trainers, a talking point at any dinner party
- A very slight lean to the left, which we call character
- Fully cat sized, with a generous allowance of roughly one and a half cats
Why now
The market for medium cartons has been remarkably firm. Biscuit Aldous reports that three viewings were booked this week, though two of them were the same cat entering and leaving at different speeds. Interest is high because the human who owns the hallway has mentioned the word “recycling” twice, and a motivated seller is a gift to any buyer.
Viewing arrangements
Viewings are by appointment, although in practice they are by ambush. Our broker will place the box in a prominent spot and wait. If the buyer climbs in within ten minutes, we regard this as an offer. If the buyer climbs in and then falls asleep, we regard this as an exchange of contracts and release the keys, which do not exist.
Small print
Dimensions are approximate and the box may be smaller than described once a buyer is inside it. Photographs were taken from a flattering angle, namely from inside. Basket and Box Realty accepts no liability for boxes that are later folded flat, filled with bubble wrap or taken to a place called the tip.
Enquiries to Marmalade Quill, who will respond as soon as she has finished looking at that wall.